Hilarious Quotes
One-Liners and Comebacks

1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.

4. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

5. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

6. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

7. How about never? Is never good for you?

8. You sound reasonable.... Time to up my medication.

9. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

10. Who me? I just wander from room to room.

11. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject