1. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist [or, "a genius"].

2. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

3. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

4. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

5. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

6. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

7. No, my powers can only be used for good.

8. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

9. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

10. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

11. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!

12. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

13. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.